Wednesday, July 20, 2011

HOW TO BE A REAL GOTH.

Idiots are fun to play with.

Over at a former website of mine, some idiots there started a war. And they also claim to know what a "Real goth" is. So, I thought I'd share their tips with everyone.


"Well goth is like a culter of people. They listen to gothical music and mostly wear black but most dont. They are often coved in piercings and they stay away from anthing really common. After too they like bats and spiderwebs and mostly they go to goth festivals, most popular one is in Whitby, England where they do this big goth weekend. But you *ROLEPLAY NAME* being a little pop princess who think she is goth because she has green [hair] will not know what...oh yeah! Goths dont like Glee music as wont that come under 'mainstream' or even 'pop' oh dear!"

"you aren't goth. Goth people don't wear freaking fans and act like 7 year old twilight fans.

Its all about the way you do your makeup (loads of eyeliner), the way you wear your hair (preferably black, blonde, some wear red or blue...but thats scene.), the type of music you listen to (heavy metal), the type of clothes you wear (black and mostly Hot Topic clothing)"



Yep. Copied and pasted. So, I guess I'm not a "Real Goth". I think I'll follow their advice, then. Why wouldn't I, they know utterly nothing about the subculture and actually hate it but... Whatever!


HOW TO BE A REAL GOTH. Totally.

- Be in a "Culter", whatever that is. (Perhaps she means cult?)
- Listen to "gothical" music or Heavy Metal. Ignore that metal is metal and goth is goth- It doesn't matter, you'll be too busy being depressed!
- Bat and spiderwebs are okay, but do to something else they said, no coffins.
- Fangs are for twihards, even though in those book the vampires sparkle and don't have fangs, and you probably prefer the ones that kill.
- Go to gothic festivals all the time- They never mentioned any goth acceptable hobbies, so you can only go to festivals. But, of course, you'll get thrown out if you look happy.
- Don't wear black, most goths don't. (Seriously, WTF?)
- Cover your entire face with piercings! If there is an inch of skin without metal stuck in it, YOU FAILED!
- You cannot like any music or tv not goth- So no Glee, or Doctor Who, or AVPM, or anything fun really.
- If you like vampires, you are a twilight fan. Its a fact.
- You need a TON of eyeliner.
- Hair thats either black, blonde and with blue and red.
- Shop at hot topic.


So yeah, I'm off to hop topic to be a real goth! But no coffins.

7 comments:

ultimategothguide said...

*adds 'gothical' to vocabulary*

Seriously, I just died laughing. How very Goth of me. The dying part, anyway. Laughter, of course, is sinful. ;-)

Teresa said...

No! You can't die, because all goths want to die and it would cause joy. Which is sinful.

I think perhaps I don't understand the whole "Flame war" thing because they keep trying to annoy me, and I just sit there laughing. I make no sense in this mortal realm.

Ashlee said...

Oh my, this is seriously amusing.

I have a confession to make, guys. I'm not goth. I wear black, like Glee, don't have piercings other than my ear lobes, I don't listen to gothical music, I don't know what a culter is I'm sure I must not be one, I don't wear a lot of eyeliner, and I avoid Hot Topic like the plague.

I'll hand in my resignation letter (or what that be Goth card?) first thing in the morning.

I'm sorry you had to find out like this.

ultimategothguide said...

SHUUUUUNNNN!!!!!

How do you know if you listen to Gothical music or not? - I'm not even sure what it is!

There is no Hot Topic in the UK. Does that automatically mean that we Britishers are NOT GOTH?

Teresa said...

Quick, push her out in the sunlight before she spreads her non-goth germs!

Its heavy metal. But gothical. Duh.


Must be, because Hot Topic, like, INVENTED goth.

ultimategothguide said...

Oh right. I knew that. Because I'm Goth.

Or would be, if there was a Hot Topic in my country. And if I didn't own a coffin backpack. :-(

Teresa said...

Must. Have. Coffin. Backpack!

My tiny vampires need a home!