I'm going to have such a hard time staying Goth.

Sometimes, its just very hard to be goth. What's more hard is trying to pretty much announce to people that don't know "Yes, I'm a Goth, bow down to me you mortal fool" without actually saying this. Why does it matter? ... Okay, it really doesn't, I just want some one to consider me a goth (even a babybat) IRL. Which, considering my social life is very limited at the time being, has not happened. *Sob.*

And yet, the soonest chances to do this? Some of the most Goth-Free places.

The first is a beach party. With my family. Yes, this includes my 80 year old grandmother who thinks I need fangs for "Confidence" because I'm insecure and fangs will somehow help that. Sigh... She means well. Sure, I'm not going to go wearing a super-fancy black lace dress and boots, but I still want to look undead goth! Why? Because I want to. Any more questions? Good.

Sure, my swimsuit isn't too terrible- Black with white floral pattern. But I don't think an eyeliner spiderweb would like swimming... On like a like totally unrelated subject- Does anyone know a good water-proof eyeliner I can find at a drugstore or walmart and won't cost a fortune? Oh well. Hey, maybe I can finally convince my mom to let me take my parasol out in public! (Without her disowning me!) And I might have a sunblock review after this (I just got Neutorgena UltraSheer Dry-Touch Sunblock, because, come on, who likes wearing sticky sunblock? So far, its pretty nice. Not shiny at all. Not sure how it holds up in the sun for a long time, though.)

Does anyone having tips for keeping my ever-so-dreary look in possibly one of the worst places to be a goth? (seriously, sun, sand and screaming like a girl when/if fish get close to me? So goth, I know.)

It occured to me I'm over using the word "Goth". Oh my goth, I should probably stop that.



Then I have a "Vacation". Why the quotation marks? Because its just my mom going to see all her friends that live across the country. Sure, there are going to be a couple girls my age, but... Well, I don't know them well and haven't seen them in over two years.

Why am I going? you ask. Because its either Get Out Of The House For A Change, or staying home alone for four days, or staying with my older brother (and... Yeah, rather not. He hasn't really known (or cared about) me since I was little Reesa), or staying with my friend (I don't like staying at another person's house for days. I really hate not knowing where anything goes or how anything works (Seriously, her kitchen sink confuses me.))

And why should I care about how I look? Please see here:

But... I'm sure my spiderweb eyeliner (Yes, still talking about that) would wear off after ten hours in a car.

Complaint time: TEN FREAKING HOURS! At least its my mom's friend's van, not our itty bitty car. But tennnnnnnn hoursssssss. I'm going to be so bored! And its going to Misery Missouri, which is apparently very hot and humid in august. At least the cabin has airconditioning. And looks cool. Oh Goth, what if it doesn't have wifi?!?!?!!!!!?1?!"!!!?!!?!!!!?!?!?!?!

But, yes, I still want to look like an undead fairy pirate. And I have a terrible time packing what I'll actually need, and nothing more. (Last vacation (May) was to a waterpark for 2 nights. Enough clothes to last a week, 4 swimsuits, was it four or five pairs of shoes? And all the makeup I owned... And 4 stuffed animals... And some other stuff.) But, um, I like totally need my parasol. (Speaking of that, I want to decorate it soon. Ideas?) And my corset. And my long velvet skirt. And of COURSE I need my Mad Hatter tee, and I bet some fishnets could be used, and I can't forget my black skirt with crooked silver pinstripes, and there's my crochet short-sleeved cardigan, and some scarves for my hair, and I'll need a few pairs of shoes...

Speaking of shoes: LACE CONVERSE (knock-offs.). At Walmart. Normally, I hate sneakers of all kinds- Or pretty much 90% of shoes that aren't sandals.

Anyway, its going to be hard to decide if I will actually be able to wear those clothes. Is velvet suitable fabric for summer?

And then there is trying to look nice after a ten hour car ride. And more importantly- NOT BEING BORED OUT OF MY MIND! My laptop will die after like 2 hours, I can't read in a car without feeling sick, I don't have a portable DVD player (or a Doctor Who DVD... But maybe... If I can find a good price...) and listening to an MP3 player while staring out the window? Gets old after a while. And sadly, I can never sleep in a car. So, to keep to the theme of the blog- Does anyone know any gothy crafts I can do in a car? I was thinking making stuffed bats out of felt. (Very simple bats, mind you.) And I have been wanting to stitch a heart on a shirt (like Emilie Autumn) and maybe taking it further, by drenching the front of it with red fabric paint (too look like my heart was ripped out). Aren't I just so innocent and cute? But that couldn't be done in a car. I have been wanting to make a hat. Maybe I'll do that. (Or at least add a black lace veil to an existing hat. Because I want to.)

Speaking of black lace veils, and I mentioned Doctor Who a little while ago...

In one episode (the first one with River, second part) there is that woman. Why is she dressed in victorian mourning clothes? No clue. There is a reason for the veil- But the skirt? But since she is extremely smart at that point, I decide to take it as a compliment, saying smart people are goths.

Well its really late and I'm getting even more scatterbrained... So... Bye.