How I found Goth.

Okay, I knew what Goth was for years- Or, well, I thought. Sadly, I only knew what lots of "Normal" people think it is. Depressed and scary. But people can change! I swear!

So this was when I discovered "True Goth".


Well. I have a roleplay website, and one of the people there is Aisling. We were both "Normal" back then- Okay, we were never normal. Both of us are totally insane (In a good way). But you know what I mean. Well, she kept showing us her twisted music. Emilie Autumn. While I Xed out of I Know Where You Sleep and Liar when she showed me them (they are a little hard to get used to), I did love Marry Me. Nice music, great singing, and the fact that it was dark and kinda creepy-ish?

So I went to google. I was researching how Goth started, what a "Real Goth" is, stuff like that. And then I found out... It was a lot like me. And the idea of wearing spiderwebs and black lace everyday? *Squee of joy* Well, I always did love halloween.

I did spend some time asking on Yahoo answers on it- Please, understand, the population of Yahoo Answers is 90% brainless. Those "Don't be a goth, be yourself!" and then list links of stores (like forever 21 and pacsun) that apparently myself would like. They never understand that maybe- Just maybe- Myself likes goth.

Anyway, Yahoo answers- One of my questions was found by Amy, who gave me the link to her blog. I spent hours reading it. Also, due to hearing about it from her blog, I got Gothic Charm School. So I absorbed tons of information. I think I also showed Aisling the link, though she might have found it on her own, I don't remember.

A little while after Aisling started her blog, I started this one. Our role play friends seem to find it annoying when we just randomly forget them and talk about Emilie Autumn and Voltaire and parasols. So, this is my way of being excited about every black-glitter coated item I happen to get my hands on.

Of course, people still try to discourage my Gothiness- My mom still isn't too sure she wants me hanging around "A bunch of depressed people" (I don't think she understands just yet...), one of my other friends from the roleplay group does NOT like goth, also saying "Don't be goth, be emo, its cute!" (If I ever get a teased mullet, SEND ME TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL.) And, of course, there are the idiots I don't even know online who assure me I will get bullied if I wear all black (Okay, maybe I can't wear a top hat to school, but why would black be bad?). Actually, people do tend to "bully" me. I'm tall, overweight, I was homeschooled and haven't been to school for a while, I'm smart and just plain weird- Seriously, I really don't care what my peers think of me anymore. That is mainly because the high school I'll be going to is in a town filled with idiots, who I have the misfortune to know. It sounds harsh, but its true. (On the bright side, I finish homework in 15 minutes)

Also, this may just be typical teenage rebellion, I'm not sure, but the more people tell me not to be goth, the more I want to. Its because they don't know what they are talking about, and I just love proving people wrong.



And I guess my ignoring them worked- I happily wear my black eyeshadow (Which, by the way, gets a ton of compliments when I'm wearing it) and Clothing of Doom and I FINALLY like my style. So, yes, I am being myself, and myself is a goth.

How did you find goth?


(And also, Aisling might like to know that I have been listening to I Know Where You Sleep for a few hours. Yay twisted music that would have given me nightmares before!)

I'm wishing you the best of luck, and by the way, your poetry sucks.
- Teresa.