I can't take so much math!!

I can't understand my math homework. I thought I was fine at it- Until we got a lot of our homework and quizzes handed back. ALL ZEROS!!!!! Its because I need to "Show my work". Well, most of my work is mental. I can get the correct methods by MY way. Even if I write down my steps and the correct answer, I still get it wrong! There is a certain "Method", which adds several confusing steps, and I don't understand it.

Here is a perfect example of what I'm upset over. On a quiz, I got all but one right. The one I didn't get right was due to using the comfusing method. I GOT A ZERO. Its not fair! I try hard, I spend a lot of time on my homework, and still I don't get any credit?

I blame my teacher. Maybe I wouldn't fail if the evil toad (Yes, I do think she looks like a toad.) would actually TEACH- All she does is make us copy notes, writes a few questions on the board, which she solves 10 seconds later, and I don't understand HOW. The notes don't make sense. "Use distrubutive to get rid of ( )" WTF?! What does that mean?!

And, she snaps at people for asking questions. Not only is there a lot of "Save your questions until the end!" but this one person asked a very good question, which someone else in the class was going to ask too, and he got yelled at for wasting her time with a stupid question. I'm not kidding, she basically said that.

I can't do my homework, I don't understand it. We have a thing called zap (zeroes aren't permitted), where you spend lunch in a room making up your work. Maybe the people there can help me. Maybe I should transfer out of the class.

I'm exhausted and I wanted to cry since math, and my eyes started to sting everytime I thought of my zeroes or my homework. Right now, I'm silently sobbing and wishing my mom was home to help me. I don't know what to do...


On a brighter note, I may have convinced my science teacher to show Doctor Who clips in class.

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE SPAM?!

I keep getting emails that some anonymous is posting random links. All the same. On a lot of my posts. They seem to delete themselves. I could put up the word verification, but those things really annoy me... Plus its not like the comments stay. But its ANNOYING! Has anyone else got an outbreak of spam?

An explanation of my absense.

I haven't been posting because, well, school. Its draining me of not only my energy, but my thoughtful snarkiness- All I'm left with is some insanity which is spent on roleplaying. Plus, school seems to be poisoning me. You know how peer pressure supposedly makes you do drugs or skip school or something like that? Yeah, it makes me listen to metal and want bright green skinny jeans.

Luckily, halloween is approaching rappidly, so say hello to a chance to wear more insane outfits. Why yes, I do happen to ow a pair of kitty ears that i wear at any possible chance (at home). And I have a purse I take to school that is the face of a halloween kitty. It has ears. And I have a spooooOooooOooky halloween shirt. Hooray :) I just need to find a spiderweb skirt.

I also need to stop wearing jeans. I don't know why I am, nor do I know why I recently bought them. I am not a jeans person. But the bus stop is cold, and skirts aren't exactly good for keeping in warmth, so... Jeans are an easier option. I should just wear my ankles length skirts with leggings.

There is also something I am currently buzzing about... THE NEWEST FASHION TRENDS ARE SO NICE! Whatever designer decided to use black lace and princess seams and all sorts of potentially goth stuff was a genius. You know, people never assume fashion designers have much power, but think about it. A popular designer uses something that people like, ex. princess seams. Other designers copy it, and soon the shops are filling up with princess seamed shirts, and due to them being available, more and more people wear them. So one fashion designer can dress millions of people.


Anyway, back to why I'm not here anymore. I just don't have anything to post! I'm sure you don't feel like listening to me rant about school. I haven't had many great fashion finds (Though I did see an Edward Cullen shirt at the thrift store that was just begging to be covered with a big red fabric paint X...) nor any halloween tutorials or anything goth at all. I haven't even been looking undead at school! Gasp! I need to fix that! (A tint of blue foundation and a softer black eyeshadow, perhaps?)

I need to compile a list of what school has done to me.

- Gotten rid of any chance of being nocturnal.
- Makes me desire brightly colored skinny jeans.
- Making me care about blending in- Well, not like I want to blend in, but its making me more aware about how easy it is to accidently blend in the crowd. I need to stand out!
- Made me decide to dye my hair bright red. Which now is faded pink...
- Made me realise how impractical black velvet really is.
- Made me listen to metal. (Okay, maybe not the school, but the friends I made in school)
- Made me too forgetful to finish this list.

But I have to say, I do like drawing class...


And speaking of metal, I'm just gonna share a song I like by the 1 metal band I love.

Just a little thing to make you depressed.

Okay, so I've been looking around for halloween costume ideas. I'm thinking of drowning victim, kinda Ophelia-like. But I'm not sure. Well, one of the questions had this, seriously written.

"And I prefer the scarier type of costumes. Vampires are okay, but not the cheesy Dracula type. And I was wondering, do you think that if I dressed up as Alice Cullen from the Twilight Series, people would know who it was? If so, how should I do it? Vampire fangs & designer clothes? lol. :)"

 

CHEESY DRACULA TYPE?! Okay, so Dracula, ACTUAL VAMPIRE, is cheesy, but a sparkly little fairy princess isn't?!

OMG DOCTOR WHO!

I found something really awesome for doctor who fans!

Mmkay, you know the jacket 11 always wears?

Well check THIS out!


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

It even has the circle things on the elbows!

And its $30!!!!! (Pretty good price for a blazer)



In other news: I am not at school. Not by choice. My alarm clocks didn't go off, and my mom thought I shouldn't be woken up because I "don't feel good" (allergies). Either I hate her for thinking that because I wanted to go to school today, or I hate her for ignoring her alarm, which goes off for an HOUR every day, because I am sick of having to wake her up EVERY DAY (and having her object to it, and try to make me make her coffee when I'm trying to get ready for school- Get up, and make it yourself. Since when was I the responsible one?)

Color goth!

I should have known better than to say "Oh no, I'm wearing colors, I can't be goth!"

OF COURSE Goths can wear color. They don't even need to wear any black! Just look at Emilie Autumn.

Hardly any black. Still looks gothic. So, yay!

Now this blog might go from trying to survive as a babybat and examples of how to make it a little more subtle for school, to trying to convince people "Yes, Goths can look like they bathed in a rainbow" and making the gothiness more notable.

In other news, I got my hair dye today! I would have LOVED to find Electric Lava (orange) but sadly, they did not have any. Nor any Rock n' Roll red, which I heard somewhere might be the dye Emilie uses. I got Pillarbox Red, and if you google it you'll see this super bright hair. Its going to be a few shades darker, because i'm not bleaching it. I'm gonna put it in my hairs now.

So... Well...

I'm not really paying much attention to blogs at the moment. I have school, currently I have allergies, and another thing I shall discuss later on in this post.

First, I forgot to mention that I dyed my bangs again (with manic panic), this time overnight, and was pleased with the results. People keep saying they "love the blue". Uhh, thanks... Its purple...

And now I want to dye ALL of my hair. Not sure which color yet. But going into the highschool made me feel lame. I must be weird, because "peer pressure" will never make me do drugs, but it makes me consider dying my hair bright orange. Which I want to do. And I recently got my hair layered and thinned (and razored) so I could actually be able to work dye through all of it.


I hate when seasons change because I have allergies. My throat was KILLING me today. Luckily, I was mostly fine for school,  but after I got home I was miserable. And I slept some, so who knows when I'll go to bed today...


And, the more important thing...

I'm actually considering going not-goth. GASP! But lately, I've been more into colors and don't think of black as the best color in the world... I mean, I'll still be goth in spirit, but not actually dress like it all the time. No way am I giving up my black velvet skirts or black lace, but maybe not wear them together. Hmm... High school has ruined me already. I know that you don't HAVE to dress in all black to be a goth, but its one of the main points...

Maybe I'll just ditch any restrictions people think fashions have and wear what I want. I'll call it... "Psychopath Chic" (That would be such an epic name for a clothing line)

I wish school took less time.

I'm back from my third day at school. It was awful. Which is weird, cause I got a decent amount of sleep (went to bed shortly after 9 and woke up at 5). This proves I need to be tired to be happy. I need to list some complaints.

- I have been missing out on my Internet life (Yes, including reading blogs)
- I barely spoke with ANYONE I knew. Some idiot who got on the bus before me took the seat next to my friend (I wanted to talk about my plans to get a nose ring and the new bands I listened to...), the only class with him I had, we had assigned seats (alphabetical) and there was just ONE person between us, so we couldn't talk, and I was having a bad day and kept dropping stuff and getting lost so I didn't have time to talk between classes. Oh, and we don't have the same lunch time. Maybe I need to make more than one friend? Nah, I hate people.
- In health class, we had a test. Well, practice test. I knew like all of the answers and the ones I didn't know made me think "How the hell am I supposed to know that? I'm 13!". I had like 20 minutes after the test (that includes the time of class spent waiting in a line to get my health book) that I just spent staring at a wall. I need to bring a book... Oh, and one of the seniors that failed the class in a different year and had to take it again? She took FOREVER.
- I suck at drawing. I didn't really get the practice assignment, and I utterly sucked at it. This is why I hate drawing- I CAN'T DO IT! Give me some clay, you get a bowl and/or small animal. Give me some paper and scissors? Fun shades. Hell, give me the ability to draw what I feel like drawing, and you'll get a cute little cartoon. But have me sit at a desk, with uncomfortable chairs (obviously made for short people), near ANNOYING seniors, drawing ovals, and you will get me fidgety, distracted and BORED. Not to mention some crappy ovals.
- My hair looks like shit. I don't want to have to spend a ton of time on my hair in the morning, its too short to do anything with, and I just need a haircut.
- I can never find anything to make for breakfast (Partly because like everything tastes gross in the morning), and everyday I have the last lunch in the school.
- Really wish idiots would stop standing in the middle of the most crowded hallway to talk.
-  I think I have allergies. My throat hurts and I've been sneezing a bit, and if I'm not mistaken, allergy season is right about now. Maybe this caused my bad mood...
- Locker keeps jamming. I have to kick it at just the right spot. And this is coming from someone who hates making noise, so if other classes are going on (Like after I got my science book, I went to go put it in my locker and like no one was in the halls) the echoing of boot kicking locker door pains me.
- I feel utterly dressed down. A not that pretty shirt and black jeans. Extremely simple makeup.


On a positive note:
I met an Australian exchange student. No clue what her name was, but she's on my bus and asked me where it was (I didn't know either, but we found it). Who would want to go from Australia to my boring little town?

Second day of school- much better!

It feels like weeks since yesterday. School was soooooooo much better today. May we start with the basics- It felt shorter, I knew some people (okay, one person), and I didn't get lost! However, I have discovered, after years of being awesome at math, I HAVE A FEAR OF ALGEBRA. Maybe not a fear. but we had a test with I think 50 questions. I answered 8... and most were guesses. Oopsie. In my defense, some of the class was eaten up getting our math books, and it was just a practice test that we will take again at the end of the semester.

I don't know if I mentioned this yesterday, but you would not BELIEVE how many unnatural hair colors are in highschool. As well as facial piercings. Hey, maybe after I tell my mom that I can get a nose ring... And yes, my new friend and all of his friends have piercings or weird hair colors or both.

I don't know what else to say. Maybe this blog'll get interesting when I finally have some gothy experience. But right now, I'm looking up screamo bands. (New friend likes screamo or metal or whatever the hell you call it, and I thought I'd check them out. So... much... SCREAMING!)

(And bonus... New friend is on the same bus and has a locker right by mine)

My first day of school, and why I'm over-stressed.

I got back from school. ALIVE. Since then, I've eaten some grapes and drank some water, as well as talked to some online friends, and then fell asleep for an hour or two.

I woke up at like 5 AM. It seems like days ago. I actually set my alarm for 4:30, so I could wake up. My hair took a good half hour, longer than I was expecting. And I missed the bus. I was going by the time the bus was supposed to arrive, because NO ONE TOLD ME TO GET THERE 15 MINUTES EARLY. So my mom drove me.

The day had started with only freshmen, and the upper-classmen who were our mentors. We were forced to go to the gym and sit on the ever-so-comfy bleachers. I sat on the side, by myself, and was surrounded by those mentors because apparently no one can have peace and quiet that early in the morning. I got a compliment on my outfit and hair (2 different people).

Then we had to do some stupid peppy crap. Pretend we are on a roller coaster, hold a rope and walk through a line of the parents and staff cheering and taking pictures, stuff like that. Oh, not to mention the many times we were supposed to just stand and talk to our friends. Its quite annoying for those of us who don't know anyone, knows someone but isn't remembered, or knows someone and wants to avoid a conversation with them at all costs.

Then we going to Seminar. Its a 15 minute class twice a week to do homework. Didn't know anyone. Then after some introductions, we were then told to go to our 1st hour for the next 15 minutes.

I have drawing first hour. I'm actually pretty happy about that, because 1. Its not that hard (drawing is challenging, yeah, but not so much as "real" school work that will be graded) 2. the teacher lets people use MP3 players a lot. I could definately see starting out the day with music and art.

Then 2nd. Algebra. Don't get me wrong, I like math. But my teacher must have magic powers of boredom. I'm not the only one who feels this way- Like the whole class was half asleep in 10 minutes. This is also where I met a first potential friend.

I was the last in class (Thankfully before the bell rang- they are serious about tardiness!) and was looking for a seat. Some dude in the back row, unnaturally cheerful, pointed to one. We introduced ourselves quietly just before the class started, and due too saying my name as "Treesa", he now calls me Tree. His name is Jake.

Lets see, next we have World Studies. History if my worst subject. Our teacher previously taught at juvie. I HATE HIM. He kinda let the class talk to themselves, he isn't very friendly and he just has that "I really don't care" attitude. (Jake is in this class, too.)

Then Language Arts. I got the teacher my brother HATED- and I actually kind of like her. I think he hated her because she is a little... Young. She doesn't sound very teacher-y, she's pretty friendly and I do think she dumbs down a few assignments. Like when they read To Kill a Mockingbird out loud in class. All of it was read out loud. She asked us to think of names for her plants. (at first I thought Fern, but now I think Alfalfa.)

Lets see, Geophysical Science. Teacher is okay. I've always liked science. Hat the desks in that class, I feel all figity. I need to find some pez despensers to give to the teacher, because he has a ton, but doesn't even collect them. Apparently, a friend of his had given him the star wars collection, and he displayed them in his office. For the rest of that year, some unknown person has been lacing a pez despenser in his mailbox every now and then. That's something you can't say about most teachers.

Then Health. Oh, joy. Our teacher is used to dealing with the failures of the school. Or, that's pretty much how she put it. The ones who don't really care, and aren't going to graduate. She also seems to enjoy scaring us by telling us how easy it is to fail and not graduate. And due to the high amount of students, you can't repeat a year. Thanks for stressing me out even more, health teacher.

And yay we got to take a break from that and go to lunch! I have to say, I'm not very disapointed in the food. There were salads and sandwiches, and I got a turkey wrap instead of pizza. Though, when entering my student number to pay (its rather high tech now), a page was brought up with my 6th grade picture, because its my latest school picture. ITS AWFUL!!! The shirt was ugly and unflattering, both style and cut, my hair was burying my face, my pose was weird and my smile was stupid. And I finished at least 10 minutes early, but noooo they couldn't let me out to find my locker (still hadn't found it by then) and even if you wanted to go to the bathroom you would need a picture ID. I don't think any of us got our IDs yet, and I didn't have my picture taken. I also got into a conversation (a short one) with the girl I think is a major idiot, but used to be my friend. Luckily, no classes together.

By then, the other grades had arrived. Some classes are mixed grades. Let me tell you, the hallways were stupid enough with just the freshmen getting lost and confused. Then add the other people going to and from classes, and those IDIOTS who stand in the middle of the crowded hallway and talk to their friends? A main crossing place is called "The T" because it is, well, shaped like a T. And in that spot in the middle, three hallways are merged together, creating must chaos.

Then we went back to see all our classes again. Drawing is mixed in with older students. I had been sitting near some dude, and I really really really hope I don't have to again. He talks too much, he distracts people, he doesn't pay attention. Very annoying if you are trying to learn about where you will be for the next 4 years.

Some older girl in my class helped me find my locker. Naturally, it was in the T. And I CANNOT GET THE STUPID THING OPEN!! I had to ask a teacher for help.

Then math again. Ughhhhh we had actual math work. I didn't finish it. Oops. We didn't have a lot of time. But, I noticed about 90% of the class didn't. Jake greeted me again, and I thought it was strange that he didn't say hi to anyone else.

Then back to seminar, at least I think. Might be after the next subject. We got planners. Turns out, we can FAIL THE CLASS AND NOT GRADUATE if we don't fill it out every day. They weren't even given out at the highschool last year! They have a ton of idiotic new rules this year.

Then world studies. Ughhhhhhh. No actual work, we seriously just went over school rules (that I already knew- Don't wear short shorts and don't start a fire pretty much sums it up). I hate saying this, but I noticed Jake seriously reminded me of Jacob Black from twilight- His skin was darker, his hair was longer than jaw length, and he almost looked like he had fangs. And his name is Jake. Now, the twilight relation is lame, but I do think its cool that I'm in a class with a werewolf.

Then Language Arts again. Actually had fun! I think we went over some school rules, but by then we pretty much knew what they were talking about. We made our own nametags for our desks. We even has the ability to use crayons (most chose marker, I used colored pencil). I heard someone near me say that is was like kindergarten or something, but I thought it was fun. On one side, we wrote our name and decorated it (I had vines on the side. That's all, but I thought it looked put together instead of chaotic. I'm a bit of a perfectionist.) and on the other, we wrote "Welcome to a year of ____ at *school name here*, because ___" and we had to fill in the blanks. I wrote "Welcome to a year of torture, because school starts soooo early." Seriously cannot wait for her class tomorrow, because we are going over our summer reading assigments (I'm one of the two who read Treasure Island. The other guy didn't like it either.) and I need to know how I did!!

Then Science. Meh. Not good, not bad. Just meh.

Then Health. Oh, joy. The older people were in that too. It is very very very obvious the teacher is used to seniors, because she was very bad at giving us information of when our lunches are. Ya see, we have a "block schedule", where we have four 85 minute classes a day instead of six 1 hour classes. And they all change. Its very confusing.

Then I got my backpack (After wanting to cry because I couldn't get the locker open, then asking the same teacher) and went on to the bus. Took forever to find. Then I rode it home, which I hate doing, and got off at one of the last stops.

I also feel like mentioning I had almost no water today.

And now I'm still stressing out because I have to do the same thing tomorrow. I don't want to. I just want to stay at home and sleep. I'm tired, dehydrated and stressed out. And painfully confused. I still have things to do (I wanted to add more music to my MP3 player, find a smaller purse to take from class to class (one that doesn't contain all my makeup and a ton of random crap), find a way to work out how I am going to use my binders and stuff (I think I may just add some more paper to my multi-purpose binder and move the sheets into my other binders when I want to))


Update (even if I haven't posted it): Its like half an hour later, I ate some food and had some water. Better now. Still stressing. But I'm going to put on a face mask and fill a little purse, then take a shower. Then sleep. Sooo tired....

Tomorrows outfit: Long pink/purple skirt (what's the color that looks like muted fuschia?) and Mad Hatter tee.

Tomorrow, school starts!

EEEP! Well, at least I have the outfit ready.

Crappy pic. But, its an ivory blouse with black lace, and a black velvet skirt.

And makeup.

Yay dots :) No lip color.

And boots.

Stock photo, BUT it actually looks just like the shoes.

I will be making some changes- if its cold, I'll be wearing tights (black), probably a black cardigan too. And my eyeshadow is black with silver highlights and green in the crease (hard to tell). Will be changing it to pewter with siler highlights and black in the crease.

I also got a hair waver. So my hair is waved, with wax, and even teased (it smells terribly like hairspray- yuck!) and it looks better than plain. That will be tomorrow's hair.

Well... I haven't died...

I haven't been posting. Oopsie. Anyway, preaccupied with video games and other websites, trying not to stress over school. I'll be back soon enough.